Geese
Take Over
It's pretty bad when plaster geese won't let
you mow the grass, and force the rabbits to take
refuge on the porch.
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Swingers
and Lonely People
Do you get lonely when Jerry Springer and Judge
Judy ain't on the tube? Need some make-believe
friends to listen to your incessant mindless
drivel? If you have some swings that are WAY
TOO HIGH off the ground for ordinary people to
use (like the ones in the picture), get two "swingers" like
Jethro and Hilda Mae here. They'll listen to
you jabber all day without interrupting. And,
they're great fun to watch when a big storm comes
up too. They'll whip around in the wind and bang
into each other and get the chains all tangled
up, just like watching Jerry Springer and WWF
Wrestling. |
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Remember
the old radio show "The Shadow"? Well,
okay, me neither, but you've heard
the famous phrase from it, "...the
Shadow knows". You'll find The
Shadow (photo at right) is more the
laid-back type, usually found leaning
against some tree like a vagrant. He
too makes a good listening friend if
you're lonely. [Ed.- When I told
Bubba I thought the pink scarf made "The
Shadow" look approachable, Bubba said
he wouldn't be caught dead talking
to some guy wearing a pink scarf. ]
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Earn
Money While You Decorate
Here's a positively ingenious idea. Post a sign
facing UP the road that says "Free Dumping",
and a sign facing DOWN the road that says "Yard
Sale".
- Click either image for a larger view - |
(Yep, somebody actually lives here!!)
Then
every other week swap the two signs.
Just look at what you can achieve in
just a few short weeks, and think of
all the money you'll make using a sign
that says "4 Sale, Your Price". Of course,
before long the neighbors will have to
get in on the action too. Then you gotta
put up a BIGGER sign than theirs, then
they'll put up a BIGGER sign than yours,
and so..... the feud begins. |
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