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Translated
into "Yankee" English by my beautiful
assistant, Misty
Woods.
Page design by that weirdo, TechnoNerd. Copyright
Notice and Disclaimer.
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The truth behind
the secrets of the Great Southern Guardian Bullfrog, like many legends and truths, are lost in the
mists of time. The Cajun tales whispered from generation to generation across the swamps and bayous
of the deep South cannot be verified by any scientific means. Yet, no matter what isolated gater
hole you go to, you will always hear the story the same way. This would lead one to believe that
it is based on some truth that threads its way from the late 1700's to this day. And so the story
goes:
In the late 1700's. a voodoo witch, who came to what is now the Louisiana Mississippi delta, performed
a ritual for a certain sea captain to remove a curse he believed was on him. In return he was required
to pay her by bringing to her a gargoyle from Europe. It seems that over the years the witch had
heard stories about gargoyles and such told by British sailors who frequented the port town of her
home island in the Caribbean. She had always wanted to see for herself what kind of magic was involved
with these "stone guardians". And so, good to his word (lucky for him), the captain returned within
the year to the swamp to see the witch, bringing a stone gargoyle statuette taken from an old castle.
Being satisfied with his payment, the witch sent him on his way.
Over
the next few months the witch spent all of her time studying this gargoyle. Then late one night,
there came a terrible spring storm, the likes of which she had not seen in many years. Torrential
rain and howling winds slammed the walls and roof of her rickety shack in the dark depths of the
bayou, threatening to rip it apart. She called upon her voodoo magic to protect herself. But while
she was casting her magic, something triggered the magic of the gargoyle, and it came to life. Well,
needless to say there was a ruckus to end all ruckuses. But since the witch had cast a spell to
protect herself, the gargoyle could do little. The witch called lightning, which struck the gargoyle
and stunned it badly enough for her to kill it and take its blood, and heart and other internal
parts to use in her magic.
She tried many things to create a "stone guardian" of her own, a creature that would be loyal to
her. She finally reasoned that the closest thing to a gargoyle she had available to work with was
alligators and bullfrogs. Now, since alligators were much too powerful already, even without magic,
she opted for the great bullfrogs that were so plentiful. She decided to use the biggest bullfrogs
she could find. Of course, as deep in the swamp as her place was, they grew pretty darn big. Months
went by while trying different kinds of spells and creating new ones using the powders and potions
she had made from the gargoyle. Finally she found something that worked. She had created a Guardian
Bullfrog that could turn to stone and sit for weeks on end without ever moving. If something large
enough to threaten it came along, it would wake from its stone sleep, lash out with its long sticky
tongue to capture its victim. If it could get any part of its victim into its mouth, the hapless
creature would itself be turned into a stone, and would be left on the ground next to the Guardian
Bullfrog when it once again returned to its stone form.
The upshot of all this was more than the witch had even hoped for. Now that she could create these
Guardian Bullfrogs, she made several, and placed them all about her part of the swamp. No one, but
NO ONE bothered her, as the frogs seemed somehow to know who she wanted to pass and who to guard
against. Each spring the frogs would themselves multiply, though only a tiny fraction of the tadpoles
had the powers of the parents. Further, she found that the "stones" left behind by the victims of
the Guardian Bullfrogs made a wonderful building material. Before long she had a stone hut to replace
her rickety old wooden one. Eventually her stone hut grew into a rather formidable stone fortress.
No one could figure out how the witch had built a stone fortress in the dark depths of the swamp
since there had NEVER BEEN ANY ROCKS of any kind in the bayou.
So, that is where the Great Southern Guardian Bullfrogs came from. Real ones are rare indeed. The
trouble is, you can't tell the real ones from the fake ones, until it's too late. And if there are
a few randomly placed stones lying close to the fake ones, well, let's just say it's wise not to
take any chances. And, of course, if you're ever in the swamp, and you come across ANY kind of stone
structure, be just as polite as you can possibly be to whoever lives there. Better yet, run like
Hell the first chance you get. |
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